Writing about a divorce that never happened would be a very difficult task. Though I am married since almost 35 years I never thought about a divorce seriously.
That doesn't mean not to be aware of tendencies which might be similiar to some details Jonathan Franzen described in his book "The Corrections". But it would be impossible for me to leave someone behind who ist loving me or at least willing to share a whole lifetime with me.
I have been left before by my girlfriend. With her I wanted to build up my life in England.
I studied Anglistics and philosophy in Frankfurt and she was the daughter of an english mother and a norwegian father. One day, must be around the time when John Lennon has been shot in New York and we were both shocked, she told me, she wanted to have no more sex with me for a time. She invited me to go to her family in Bergen/Norway to celebrate christmas with them instead.
The following year she left me to trace her first friend Bill first in Israel and afterwards in London.
I was deeply hurt and still in love and visted the Kibbutz in Israel where she has lived. I became ill seriously and had to return to Germany to recover. One day she came back to me saying it was nice to meet me again and that I still was the same person as before. But I already found my wife and advised her to move out (we lived together) asap. We never saw again.
Maybe it was a kind of sweet revenge for me but i still hope that this wasn't the only reason to break up my plans for England and to listen to my future wife. She was not willing to wait for me during the time I would be studying in England.
Anyway our marriage remained childless and I did the lonesome decision to support a lesbian couple in having children. There are two daughters now and my wife had to face it.
She surely will not split us but our partnership has changed since that.
So that is what I can contribute thinking about split and not divorce.
This morning I thought I will tell here that I am not going to bear our situation any longer,
but I am not sure I will. We have a little dog to care for now.
That doesn't mean not to be aware of tendencies which might be similiar to some details Jonathan Franzen described in his book "The Corrections". But it would be impossible for me to leave someone behind who ist loving me or at least willing to share a whole lifetime with me.
I have been left before by my girlfriend. With her I wanted to build up my life in England.
I studied Anglistics and philosophy in Frankfurt and she was the daughter of an english mother and a norwegian father. One day, must be around the time when John Lennon has been shot in New York and we were both shocked, she told me, she wanted to have no more sex with me for a time. She invited me to go to her family in Bergen/Norway to celebrate christmas with them instead.
The following year she left me to trace her first friend Bill first in Israel and afterwards in London.
I was deeply hurt and still in love and visted the Kibbutz in Israel where she has lived. I became ill seriously and had to return to Germany to recover. One day she came back to me saying it was nice to meet me again and that I still was the same person as before. But I already found my wife and advised her to move out (we lived together) asap. We never saw again.
Maybe it was a kind of sweet revenge for me but i still hope that this wasn't the only reason to break up my plans for England and to listen to my future wife. She was not willing to wait for me during the time I would be studying in England.
Anyway our marriage remained childless and I did the lonesome decision to support a lesbian couple in having children. There are two daughters now and my wife had to face it.
She surely will not split us but our partnership has changed since that.
So that is what I can contribute thinking about split and not divorce.
This morning I thought I will tell here that I am not going to bear our situation any longer,
but I am not sure I will. We have a little dog to care for now.
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